Winter of discontent

A couple of weeks ago, I went to consult a fortune teller with my friends, just for the heck of it. Of course it's just us joking about, but I have been so lost the last few months that I felt it was some way of reeling myself in.

Most people would think I've gone mad -- why not talk to friends, go to church or just pick up a new hobby? Because I already know how those things go down. I wanted a completely different perspective, and that's exactly what I got.

Funny thing is, I was most curious about what the medium would say about my lovelife, which, as it turns out, something she can't see in my immediate future. As z-e-r-o. She saw a possible lesbian, but nothing more. She told me to focus on my fucking career. 

With me getting my heart broken continiously since 2013, I'm resigning myself to doing just that. 

I hate it when I hear the cliche that says "things happen for a reason." In my case, things don't happen, so I should stop waiting for things to change and just go fucking take control of my life. I've been lazy for far too long, waiting for Prince Charming to rescue me from my dull life. 

Now, let's see if I can actually get off my ass to do anything about it.

Starbucks Frappula: Coffee Vampyre

Got curious about the Starbucks Halloween drink:

Here's what it really looks like:

Got carried away by marketing AGAIN, as it looks quite boring in reality, but it's actually a great-tasting mocha spin-off. 

Jupiter Ascending: Watch it for the boots

My friends said Jupiter Ascending was a really bad movie, but I can't help but think they're exaggerating.

So I watched it today...

...and yeah, it was pretty bad.

But I can think of a lot of movies far worse (have you guys seen Vice?).

So here's what's good and bad about Jupiter Ascending:

Good

- Mila Kunis scrubbing toilets in full make-up

- The Wachowski Brothers' special effects

- Eddie Redmayne (even though I hardly understood the words he said)

- Sean Bean and the thrill of waiting to find out if his character survives or not

- Razo's hover-cycle

- Cain Wise' awesome flying boots

Bad

- Mila Kunis scrubbing toilets in full make-up

- After 21 Jumpstreet and Magic Mike, I can't take Channing Tatum seriously anymore. He acts like he's got serious bowel issues in this movie.

- The whole plot rests on Jupiter being kidnapped in succession and being rescued each time. The damsel in distress scenario gets old around halfway through.

- The Kunis-Tatum loveteam has no chemistry and does not work. Actually, Tatum is the oddest one out in the cast. The Wachowskis could have made the movie better if they had gotten the casting for the Cain Wise role right.

Trailer!

Reset

Two and a half years. It feels strange dipping into this blog that time forgot. 

I have been semi-off of social media for the past couple of weeks, which allowed me to start thinking more coherently, instead of the bursts of thought that I usually get. I have wanted to get back into blogging for a very long time, but I couldn't get my head clear enough to write a post. 

Plus, I didn't want to use this site. 

The person who created this site and the girl woman writing this entry seem very different. They certainly feel different. I can't relate to the voice I used before. She was superficial and just wanted attention. She was just a mask.

Then the mask came off.

She had to go through an intense emotional struggle, with too many eyes looking on. It wasn't the kind of attention she wanted. It was like that horrible cliche nightmare where you find yourself standing naked on stage with all of your friends and family members watching.

That was five years ago. 

I want to say that I've moved on and in a lot of ways I have. I'm quite happy and content with my life right now, but sometimes my thoughts wander back. You never really leave the past behind -- you take them with you everywhere you go and it changes you. 

And that's how your demons are born. In my case, I had issues with people getting too close. 

So here I am. I laugh my ass off half the time, very outgoing, love to explore and have the most amazing friends and family. But somehow, my open-mindedness does not mean I have an open heart. Whatever I choose to show, they get exposed so much that they get sun burnt, but I keep everything else expertly hidden away. It makes for a disgustingly uneven tan.

Realizing that now, I've decided to try being more receptive and to give more back, especially to the people that matter to me. I wanted a whole new blog to do this, but decided I'm too attached to this one.

Are you still reading?

Thank you. You'll hear a little more from me from now on.